Motherhood: Author’s Tea

“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.” Deepak Chopra

Lately I’ve noticed a surge in Hadley’s independence and desire to make choices for herself.  Two nights ago, I heard my husband upstairs drawing her a bath, accompanied by her muffled protests.  She emerged down in the kitchen a few minutes later, clearly disgruntled.  In a high-pitched voice she said with complete exasperation, “Mom, we did not discuss a bath!”  I was certain we had, but I gave her the option to postpone it until morning.  I’m learning quickly that she intends to be her own person, and assert herself more and more.

Fast forward to today, when the annual kindergarten Author’s Tea will be held in her class.  Parents are invited in for 45 minutes at the end of the day to see all of the beautiful writing the children have done over the year.  Whitney had the same teacher, and she is retiring this year, so it will certainly be a special day.  I’ve had the event on my calendar for over a month now, and I reminded Hadley last night over dinner that I would be there promptly at 2:15.  I’m ever mindful of the fact that with Hadley, everything is a “last.”  Last kindergartener, last six-year-old, last child I can carry up the stairs, and last child to still (sort of) fit on my lap.

We sat quietly as she ate, just the two of us, as the others were off at sports.  She looked down at her ice cream, rhythmically stirring it, deep in thought.  “Mom, about the Author’s Tea tomorrow…” she began, cautiously.  I pursed my lips, smiling hopefully as she continued, “Well, I’m inviting Whitney to the Author’s Tea.  If she’s not available, I would like you to come.”  I wasn’t sure what to think, or what to do at that moment. The comment was delivered with such gumption, and she proceeded to ask me if I could pick up Whitney at school to be sure she got there on time.  Images of a yellow NYC cab flashed in my head, her request reminding me that at times my role is diminished to two words: taxi driver.  I felt temporarily hurt, compelled to use her words, “Hadley, we did not discuss this.”  Instead, I smiled, and softly replied, “Sure honey, I’ll see what I can do.”

My husband asked me if I felt badly knowing that I am the second-choice date.  After giving it some thought, I shook my head with certitude.  The truth is, I couldn’t feel happier.